SPOOF TEXT
LOVING MONEY TOO MUCH
There was a man
who liked money very much. He worked all of his life and wanted to save all of
his money for his own future. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He
loved money more than just about anything.
Even, just
before he died, he said to his wife; "Now listen, when I die, I want
you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take
my money to the afterlife." So he asked his wife to promise him with
all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with
him.
Well, one day,
he really died. Then he was stretched out in the casket. The wife was sitting
there in black clothes next to her closest friend. When they finished the
ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife
said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a box in
her hands. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. After that
the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Not long after that,
her friend said, "I hope you were not crazy enough to put all that money
in the casket."
The wife turned to her friend and replied; "Yes,
because I have promised." Then she continued; "I can't lie. I
promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
Feeling shocked, her friend said; "You mean that you have put every cent
of his money in the casket with him?" Then the wife answered; "Surely
I did. I got it all together, put all the money into my account and I
just wrote him a check."
The Boss and The Trainee
A Man joined a
big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the
pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from
the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do
you know who you're talking to, dumbo?
"No",
replied the trainee.
"It's the
Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The man shouted back,
"And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No", replied the Managing Director.
"Thats Good!", replied the trainee and put down the phone
PRIVATE CONVERSATION
Last week I went to the theatre. I had a very good
seat. The play was very interesting.I did not enjoy it. A young man and a young
woman were sitting behind me. They were talking very loudly.I got very angry. I
could not hear the actors. I turned around. I looked at the man and the young
woman angrily. They did not pay any attention.In the end, I could not bear it.
I turned around again. “I could not hear a word” I said angrily.“It’s none of
your business” the young man said rudely. “This is a private conversation”
THAT PHONE IS OFF !
Soon after he
left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no
children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up
his own real estate agency.
Dave found a
nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there
for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.
“It must be my
first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended
to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted
to buy a big and expensive house in the country.
The man knocked at the door while this was going on.
He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the
phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was
sent here to connect your telephone”
IT’S TIME to GO to SCHOOL
Early one
morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go
to school!"
"But why,
Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me
two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the
kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's
no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me
two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for
one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
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